Justice Through Death
by KyuRisu
Summary: Dlanor struggles with fulfilling her duty. Short little one shot on how I interpret her feelings and how she ended up in the Golden Land


My name is Dlanor A Knox. I am the Archbishop of Eiserne Jungfrau. My job is to carry out death sentences for evildoers. I am the executioner. I bring justice by ridding the world of such awful witches. I had been dispatched again. This man looked like a father. He did not know I was there yet. He did not know he must die for the greater good. He was smiling and talking on the phone with a cheerful voice. I completed my duty, swiftly and efficiently as ever, and he is dead. But there was a strange feeling in my chest. I had done something good, so why? Why was it saddening? "I am SORRY." I said softly. "But things will be better NOW." It will. One less evildoer. One less and soon more to follow.

I was dispatched a second time. This was a woman, who looked lost and confused, she didn't understand why she had to die. She was crying. I killed her anyway. Once again, it hurt just a little. I tried to shake it off. I was doing something good. I was a bringer of justice. I had no reason to feel this way. "It will be better NOW." I repeated to myself.

But it wouldn't stop hurting. No matter how many times I killed someone, there were always more wreaking havoc. More that seemed so innocent in death. It was like they didn't even know what they were doing. I'm trying so, so hard to make everything better. I want to see people smiling, laughing, living carefree lives without fear. But I am not doing anything. I am fighting a mythical Hydra. If I cut one head off, two more grow in its place. And the killing is still painful. "I am SORRY." I say, over and over and over again. This one, a young man, barely more than a schoolboy. That one, a mother of two, pleading for her children to be spared (they weren't. I couldn't disobey orders) The stubborn and powerful Beatrice, unable to even understand her own evil. Part of me is so, so glad I was defeated. "I am SORRY." Becomes part of my normal thought process. The Finite Witch, Virgilia, who is a witch but is not evil, who has forgiven me for trying to kill her student, who is kind to me, who is a friend to me. It is forbidden. If this was discovered by the High Courts I would be dispatched to execute her too. Even sweet, gentle Lia who wears a hat because the light so often hurts her eyes, I would have to kill her. I don't want to. I don't want to anymore.

Another one. This woman didn't know who I was. It's unusual. She offered me candy, asking if I was lost. I could not even look at her as my blade struck true. The candy looked tempting, but I became sick when I unwrapped it. I did not eat for the rest of the day. I could not stop thinking about that woman. If I had been kind, would she have given me more sweets? Would she have let me sit down on her couch and read a book? Would she… but she would do nothing. She was dead now. The records are clear. Right in front of me. She has done terrible, terrible things. How could she do that and yet be so innocent? It wasn't a lie. I know, maybe better than anyone, when someone pretends innocence. I stamped the reports and moved onto the next one. "I am SORRY." The fruitless apology resounds in my head like a ringing bell.

It's me. I am the evildoer. It's me, it was me all along. I am not bringing justice. I am only bringing death. But what else am I to do? It's my job. I exist to do this and nothing more. Again. Again. Again. I have spilled so much blood by now, killed so many people, not even I could count them. The Golden Witch has won her love and has gained an eternal land of peace with her family. Oh, how I envy her. Oh, how I long to ask her for forgiveness… but she would never give it to me. I don't deserve that. I will just keep killing witches. Forever, it seems. It's been thousands of years and I am still so small, I'm human, right? Or has my evil made me inhuman? I'm crying. I'm crying now. I never cry. But it hurts. I don't want this. I want candy and sweet mint tea and soft fluffy pillows and lots of friends and books to read whenever I want and… when did this happen? When did I become like this? I used to be a force for good… or maybe I never was. The witches I killed… they didn't know. They didn't know their own evil. They were lost, suffering, their minds were broken. It wasn't their fault. I could've helped them if only I knew. If only I wasn't an executioner. Someone puts their hand on my head. I jolt, looking up in shock. It is Virgilia. She has the same gentle smile as always and it _hurts_.

I confessed to her. I cried like a little child and told her that all along I was the evil one, that I didn't want to do this anymore, that I wanted to apologize but it was too late, too late, and I was so scared that my first and last friend would cast me away. She did not. She held me in her arms like a mother, her soft voice murmuring words of comfort. "My student and my surrogate daughter was like you." She meant Beatrice. Like me? How? "She was lost and desperate to end her suffering. It pained me to see her hurt, so I stood by her no matter how many people she hurt. I even stood against you." I know, oh, I remember. I remember how much it hurt, how much I wanted to scream that I wouldn't fight Virgilia. But I did. "I forgive you, little Dlanor. You don't have to do this anymore. Come with me. Come to the Golden Land. Will and Lion will be so glad to see you again. Come and be free from this life." I froze. I could not believe her words. For a brief moment my heart soared at the mention of Will and Lion, oh how I'd missed them! But then it seemed to stop beating altogether. Forgiveness? Was I really receiving forgiveness? Was that possible now? I nodded, my head still pressed to her chest. "Yes." I managed through tears. "Yes. Please."

Is this real? Am I dreaming? I'm here in the Golden Land. Beatrice and Battler are smiling at me. I tried to kill them and they are smiling. They are happy to see me? Will and Lion… I cannot remember being so happy to see anyone before. Even Diana stretched out her paw and demanded petting. Her familiar soft fur brings me back to reality. This is real. This is real and I am forgiven and I will never kill even one more person ever again, I am _free_. And I am crying again because now I know, I know that even evildoers can find happiness if only there is someone to forgive them. I am home.


End file.
